Today, I noticed that many of you pop on this site looking for a homemade Foria recipe. I guess the internet probably shows you the Wake & Bake site because I posted that DIY Weed Lube tutorial up awhile back. But that’s not what you’re looking for… now is it?
You’re looking for something liquid, sprayable, and infused with cannabis. You’re looking for that thing from that article titled, “I got my pussy stoned with weed lube” on Vice.
Well look no further folks. I got your back! …and your lady parts…
Feuding with Foria
I started testing this back in the day when I got into a little micro mini feud with the weed lube company – Foria. They said some things on Wake & Bake’s DIY Weed Lube Facebook posts saying things like, “If you’re too lazy to make your own…” and some shit about the “purity” and “safety” of their cannabis. I’m not down with the word lazy used in the context of cannabis. I think it’s poor taste. And for some reason, I smelled bullshit on the whole “safe” and “pure” rhetoric.
After some back and forth, I asked them to show me their grow operation and let me know more about their growing practices. And to be fair, I showed them our little organic greenhouse with cannabis grown with love in the sunshine and living soil without any synthetic nutrients, pesticides or bullshit. It was purely an I’ll show you mine if you show me yours type of exchange. Unfortunately, Foria didn’t want to show me where their cannabis is grown… Maybe they were just “too lazy”, but I can really only wonder.
In response to one of my questions, they told me they share their formula. They said they were in the business of helping women and they gave out their formula so women who didn’t live in California can make it at home. So I told them I’d love to try it and share it with you guys so that you could help yourselves. I sent follow up emails. They never responded… Shocker…
Foria, if you’re reading this… I’d still love to hear back from you 😉
So I was like, fugggghhh this. I’m not putting that stuff near my vagina or supporting a company that doesn’t back up their claims or follow through. As of last month, they’ve teamed up with the hyper-corporate Dixie Elixirs run by this guy and are going to be selling their junk in my home state…
So while the creators of Foria and the CEO of Dixie Elixirs were off on a yacht somewhere scheming up how they were going to take a shit ton of money from “21 year olds as well as 75 year old grandmas with glaucoma,” I was sitting on the farm dreaming about a cannabis lubricant that was sprayable and I still wanted to “get my pussy stoned with weed lube” without funding that guy’s arrogant sock collection.
15 Minute Orgasms
I can’t make any claims like the Foria machine does. They spread the word that their product has been known to give 15 minute orgasms.
Now, I’ve never had a 15 minute orgasm using cannabis lubricant and I tested this stuff for about 7 months. I’m not saying it’s not possible, I’m just saying that I haven’t ever experienced it.
And to be honest, I’m not sure it’d be all that much fun to have a 15 minute orgasm. I have a feeling that the farmer would start looking at his big farmer watch and start to wonder if I was dying. I’d probably mentally check out at around the eight minute mark. I guess I’m not the kind of lady who would value a 15 minute orgasm, so that’s why the universe doesn’t let me have them.
I can say that this cannabis lube makes sex feel amazing. You’ll have to try it to know what I’m talking about, but everything just feels… so. much. better.
Also, I did conceive a baby using cannabis lubricant, so I can say that (for me) cannabis lube makes babies.
Everyone is different, so I can’t tell you how long your orgasm is going to be or if you’re going to haphazardly create new life. HOWEVER, if you do actually have a 15 minute orgasm using cannabis lube… please, please, pretty please… do share your experience in the comments.
Wake & Bake’s Fauxria Formula
This recipe is based off of some things that Foria says on their website. I’ve deduced that they make their stuff from MCT oil or liquid coconut oil and hash oil… possibly with an emulsifier (like Lecithin), but I can’t be totally sure.
The Wake & Bake Fauxria recipe does use lecithin an emulsifier because the ph of lecithin (highly alkaline) helps with transdermal absorption (it absorbs into your lady bits better). I don’t think it’s totally necessary, but if you’re using low-mid grade quality cannabis, be sure to add it so you get the best bang for your buck (best accidental pun ever).
Ideally, use this a liquid lecithin like Now Foods Liquid Sunflower Lecithin. It will keep your cannabis lube light and easy to spray. I tried it with some of Swanson’s Sunflower Lecithin, which I love for all of my other oils and homemade weed lubricant, but I think it made it thicker and made it tough on these little spray bottles.
How to use Homemade Foria
Cannabis lube isn’t used like regular lube. That’s because the point of cannabis lubricant isn’t actually to lubricate.
Step 1: About 30-45 minutes before you’d like to take a trip to pound town (if that’s too graphic, you can share your favorite sex euphemism in the comments), spray several pumps of the oil (6-10ish?) onto your lady bits and rub that delightful oil all up in there.
Step 2: For the next 30-45 minutes, just lay there. I kid. Spend that time doing whatever it is you do that makes you feel sexy. Set the mood. Make your first (and second and third) time using cannabis lube as relaxing and enjoyable as possible. If you’re using it solo, do something nice for yourself (like practicing Cannabis Yoga) until you start feeling warm and fuzzy down below.
Step 3: As soon as you begin to feel it, let the seduction begin. Your sensitivity down below will be heightened and everything should feel subtally more open, relaxed and pleasurable. If you ever start feeling irritated or it doesn’t feel great, just rinse it off.
Using Cannabis Lube for Vaginitis and Other Female Issues
Women who have used cannabis pre-lube to treat painful sex report that the cannabinoids help their pelvic muscles to relax and open up, helping alleviate their symptoms so they can enjoy sex. Skeptics and critics like to turn their nose up at this and say that “data is lacking” or that putting cannabis in your vagina “may be unsafe.” Of course data is lacking. Welcome to the wide world of cannabis. But I can’t guarantee the safety of cannabis lubricant. I can only say that I tested it for several months and my genitalia is still connected to my body and fully functioning.
Even if there was data showing that it’s an effective treatment, the only way you can ever know for yourself is to try it. If it doesn’t work for you, no worries… This weed lubricant is edible, so you can use it to bake up a loaf of Cannabanana Bread or add it to your morning smoothie.
Is Cannabis Lube Only for Women?
Yes… and no.
So the deal with absorption of the cannabinoids that make this work is that they have to come in contact with a word that will absolutely gross you out and end the sexy vibe of this post. All you really need to know is that man parts don’t have the gross word and can’t absorb much of the cannabinoid goodness that makes this so healing and fun for women.
But dudes, that shouldn’t stop you from whipping up a batch of this. I can’t tell you how thrilled (and open to suggestion) your lady would be if you suprised her with a bottle or two of this stuff. You could also put some in capsules or add it to a smoothie or milkshake, and try this aphrodisiac psychoactive-ly while your lady has a more topical experience.
Also, and this is totally hearsay, someone once wrote and told me that using cannabis lube on their penis helped them perform for longer, but I’ve never tested this and have no idea. Also also, that’s not an invitation to you to write to me about your penis.
Hash, Buds or Trim?
If you can, use hash. I’ll be trying it using every type of hash I make this harvest, but I’m out for now, and until then, my answer to your question about using x grams of BHO or x grams of bubble hash will be “I don’t know”. If you try it with whatever you’ve got, shoot me a comment and let me know how it goes.
I did try it with high quality sugar trim and it works. But you have to use a good deal of trim and a very fine filter (like a Purify 190 from Magical Butter) to get all of the plant material out of the mixture. Cheap cheese cloth just won’t cut it on this one and I can’t think of anything worse than having micro bits of plant material in your hoo ha when you’re trying to get in the mood.
1. In a crockpot on warm/low or Magical Butter Machine, combine:
1 Cup Decarboxylated Trim or Buds (Packed tight, I can get 18 grams of trim and kief into a cup and that’s what I went with) or 1 Gram BHO (haven’t tried it yet, so I’m not sure about the ratio… just read it on this reddit board)
2. If using a crockpot and trim, stir regularly for three-four hours. If using the magical butter machine, use the oil setting.
4. Bottle in glass spray bottles. Store in refrigerator or keep large batches in the freezer.
Allright allright allright! This recipe will be in the upcoming Wake & Bake ebook, Uncomplicated: Cannabis Oils, Tinctures and Infusions without the Confusion… To stay updated on the release date and new recipes, sign up for the Wake & Bake Newsletter! You can also download the second edition of Wake & Bake and make all sorts of awesome healthy edibles in the meantime 😉