I so want this post to be about something clever. This is one of my all time favorite edibles recipes and I’d really like the words I’m throwing down to match this fan-fughing-tastic vegan, paleo, and keto cannabis infused ice cream. But I’m really not sure it’s going to happen. I have a newborn. It’s the eve before Christmas eve. And before we have to bid pumpkin spice a farewell for the year, I needed to squeeze in one last recipe that will keep you feeling kind this holiday season.
So maybe I’ll just be informative for once and tell you all about why this recipe is awesome for every single human on the planet instead of doing some shitty Donald Trump jokes. Although… let’s all do remember that he said on multiple occasions that he wanted to bone his daughter.
Since that is no joke, I’ll just move on to that informative stuff I wanted to tell you about.
As you may already know, I’ve been in a war against kitchen gadgetry. There are practical reasons that I haven’t retreated or surrendered: we move a lot… every year the size of our kitchen changes… I’m a Scroodge McDuck… etc… So finding a way to make ice cream without buying an expensive uni-tool was necessary for my once per year ice cream extravaganza.
And speaking of extravaganza, let’s just remember that Donald Trump is winning at president right now. As I’m writing this, I’m starting to regret letting this moment slip away without documenting it.
Either it will be a Palin-esque string of events that is just delightful in hindsight… or we’ll probably all be working at the only living wage job that’s left… building that wall in between here and Mexico.
Either way, I’m going to stuff the memory of Donald Trump killing it at being a republican presidential candidate inside of this post that’s supposed to be about a method to make cannabis infused ice cream without an ice cream maker.
This method was the winner (like Bernie Sanders is in my dreams). The trick is to use full fat coconut milk (and to register as a democrat if your state requires it to vote for Senator Sanders in the primaries). It makes the finished product super creamy without a churning device (and would make America great for once).
If you make ice cream a lot, or if “make more ice cream” is something you’ve pasted on your 2016 vision board, this ice cream maker looks tits. And by tits, I mean it looks durable and according to reviews, folks seem to really like it.
Other than that, here’s some other practical stuff:
- This recipe takes some time in the freezer and some elbow grease.
- If you plan on making this often or if you want to make several different kinds, you can freeze a big batch of coconut milk covered in the freezer for a couple of weeks.
- The farmer likes to put this stuff in his coffee.
- Bernie Sanders has not only openly supported state’s rights for medical marijuana, he’s also put in a bill to lift the federal law criminalizing cannabis. Holy shit.
- If you leave it too long in the freezer or don’t store it covered, it can get freezer burn.
- You can take it out of the freezer 5-10 minutes before you want to eat it and it will get all creamy and be the perfect temperature.
Taah Daaaah! Yay for useful information!
Cannabis Infused Pumpkin Spice Ice Cream (Vegan & Paleo)
1. Line an 8X8 inch pan with parchment paper.
2. Shake up:
2 Cans of Full Fat Coconut Milk
3. Open and pour the cans of coconut milk into the parchment lined pan.
4. Freeze for a few hours or overnight.
5. Using a knife, cut ¼ chunk of the frozen coconut milk out of the pan. If it got super frozen, leave it out to thaw for a half hour to an hour.
6. In a food processor, combine:
Frozen Coconut Milk Chunk
1/2 t vanilla
1-2 T Maple Syrup
1/4 t Pumpkin Spice (or more to taste)
Pinch of Salt
1-2 t Cannabis Infused Coconut Oil (melted)
6.a. Stir in optional chunky ingredients (chunks of chocolate/cookies/hot fudge swirl/etc.)
7. Once Smooth, pour into a small glass container. Immediately put in the freezer.
8. Every 10 minutes, stir until it gets firm enough to scoop out (about 30 minutes).
Contains two 1 tsp Servings of Cannabis Infused Coconut Oil
Okay! Now without spell checking or even reading over what I just read, I’m going to toss this out onto the internet and go to bed. I’ll be answering questions again after the new year… Lay em on me!